A take-no-prisoners brashness with respect to people when it comes to leadership doesn’t go as far as it used to—you know this as a leader as well as I do, and if you don’t then you really need to read this post.
As a leader, you’ve focused on unabashedly pursuing the technical skills that sustain the setting of a vision, creating the strategy, and driving bottom-line results. However, you know that a myopic focus on the technical aspects of leadership and being high maintenance isn’t going to be enough to keep from being replaced, let alone excel, in today’s highly competitive and ever-shifting business world.
As a leader, you have to be unswerving in your pursuit of what distinguishes you from the rest of the pack.
Distinguishing yourself from the pack isn’t something that you can do on your own as a leader—success goes through the people that you’re interdependent with and work for. And the next part is what is really scary for you—you know that working with people can be really difficult and challenging. Sadly, many talented and industrious leaders have learned the hard way that they are expendable when they become high maintenance and toxic. No longer does high performing results producing leadership overshadow and excuse a gap in your people skills.
Leaders need to heed the wake up call, and—don’t shoot me for saying this—learn what they resent having to learn. But without learning it they won’t succeed – the people skills that will make possible their ability to excel as a leader.
As the founder of an executive coaching firm, I’m often asked, “Why is it that some of the most intelligent, creative, and trailblazing leaders never add acquiring mind-blowing people skills to their leadership development itinerary?”
The answer is straightforward: they’re far more adept at leveraging all the tangible aspects of running their businesses and have developed a shortsightedness when it comes to doing something they’re less skilled at: the difficult and challenging work of having to learn great people skills. And if you don’t believe me, just ask their families.
I’d like to share with you some surefire steps that will help you know if you’re ready to change, and then how to go about it.
Go From Thinking You Might To Knowing You Will
Having standout people skills seems like something leaders should have had on their leadership itinerary to develop early on, but unfortunately many don’t. Being aware of the need to make a change and actually being ready for change are two completely different things. Taking this journey begins when you first start contemplating doing so, and it ends when you discover what you’ll lose if you don’t make the change. If you have any question about your people skills and where they need to be, start asking yourself some hard questions like these: What’s at risk if you don’t get better? What has not being better already cost you, and what has been standing in your way? Ask the people around you what you can do better with respect to how you interact with them. I’m sure your colleagues, employees, and your family will appreciate having the opportunity to share their thoughts with you.
Know What It Will Take To Close The Gap
Now that you’ve gotten some insight into the skills you need to work on, you have to grab the bull by the horns and make a candid appraisal of where your people skills (EQ) stand today. There are various self-assessments, tools, and books that can support and guide you through the process of taking stock of your EQ skills. As the gaps emerge, you’ll learn exactly what you need to do and how much work it is going to take to get you where you need to be. Understanding what you value, how you’re wired, and how you apply what you know is vital to figuring out how to integrate your people skills and technical skills into your leadership operating system. When you have all the information you need, it’s time to turn thought into action. You can create checklists with specific behaviors based on the skills you need to acquire and invite trusted friends, mentors, colleagues, and employees into the process first by sharing the skills that you want to acquire and then by asking them for suggestions on how to go about doing it. These people will be able to further support you if you ask them to share in-the-moment feedback about how you’re doing against what you said you wanted to do, and offer actionable suggestions for improving that will make possible your taking a step closer and closing the gap.
If You Want To Fast-Track The Process, Hire An Executive Coach
Starting this process on your own isn’t out of the question. However, letting go of and replacing the behaviors that are holding you back, figuring out what works best for you, and getting exceptional results can be challenging to accomplish alone. Having someone in your corner—a strategic partner and sounding board—makes it easier and faster. Choosing to work with an executive coach gives you someone working side by side with you whose sole focus is you and what you need to do to improve your skills. Be mindful, however, that coaching isn’t a magic bullet or a short cut. It won’t absolve you of doing the difficult stuff that it takes to get better with your people skills. But it will certainly help fast-track the process as you work with someone whose expertise and guidance you can leverage so that you stop spinning your wheels and get really focused on what behaviors you need to target, learn, and stop that will have the most impact and bring about your success.
As you can see, it doesn’t require drastic measures to affect a change—all it takes are readiness, commitment, self-control, and following through on your part. Are you willing to add getting better at your people skills to your leadership development itinerary? I can assure you that making this type of investment in yourself will pay dividends well beyond the office.